My late night thoughts have gotten the best of me…
I was only 8 years old. By that time, I had attended more funerals than I could count. Family members, family friends, people I’d never met in my entire life. Of course I cried at most of them, I watched so many people I loved cry for them, obviously they must’ve been great people. I would never know. But I felt their pain and did my best to comfort them. I was only 8 years old.
I was only 7 years old. When one of my best friends in the whole world started getting very sick. We were just kids, nothing could hurt us. We’d be side by side through everything and we planned years ahead of what we were promised. Soon, she could no longer come over to play. She couldn’t even walk on her own, they gave her a wheel chair. They said she had a “brain tumor.” Whatever that was. I was only 7 years old.
I was only 8 years old. When we all stood around her beautiful tree to celebrate her life. They gave us all bubbles. And we laughed and smiled and even she seemed happy. Her now very swollen face turned soft and lit up as we filled the air with bubbles in her honor. We brought her family gifts and made her signs and pictures. I thought she was only sick and she would get better. I was only 8 years old.
I was only 8 years old. When the phone rang. When my mom called me upstairs. When I went back downstairs only to stand in the middle of the room as the world spun around me. How was I supposed to understand that we could no longer live out all our dreams together? How was I supposed to understand the idea that I would have to start 3rd grade without my best friend with me? How was I supposed to understand that my best friend wouldn’t be there when I entered junior high, high school, got married, had kids, anything… How was I supposed to understand that my best friend had died before she even got to live? I was only 8 years old.
If she only wants you, don’t worry about who wants her
When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.